So you've heard about these--sum up your life in 5 words. It's harder than it appears. here is my feeble attempt at it. Of course, I had to try more than one because 5 words just isn't enough room! ;)
Wandering feet leading me home.
Seeker seeking the perfect plan.
Uhm... It's too late... What is your 5 word life summary?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I love Kent, from Wapakoneta...
So those of you who know me know that I am secretly addicted to broadway musicals and I LOVE a good dance number. Oh, and that I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance. I have watched devotedly since season 2. I caught snippets of season 1 in Korea, but it wasn’t until season two and Benji that I started watching regularly. Now I can’t stop!
This season, there is this cute little kid from Wapakoneta, Ohio named Kent Boyd. I knew from the get-go that I LOVED Kent. How could you not? He is infectiously happy. He radiates joy and happiness from every pore. He is just so darn cute that he makes me want to dance. Any of you who have seen me dance know that is a scary thing.
So, I love Kent. I loved him even more when he said that the person he looked up to most was his brother, who was going to be a youth minister. Then, I loved him best when I read a quote he made. When asked what he hoped to gain from the experience of performing weekly on So You Think You Can Dance, he responded, “To change as a dancer but not as a person.” Wow. I had to remind myself that he is just 18 years old. Such wise sentiments from such a young kid.
His goal is to live in the world but not be of the world, or not allow the experiences of the world to change who he was created to be(fearfully and wonderfully created, according to Psalm 139:14). Or at least that is my spin on what he said. Though he has never come out and said it, I believe that Kent loves Jesus. It kind of makes sense--he’s one of the most joyful people I have ever seen and supremely gifted. Both of those don’t come from the world or from yourself. Those are gifts only God can bestow. Now, he can be a great dancer and not love Jesus--lots of those are out there, but I just have a hunch. I think this boy loves Jesus...
As I read his quote, I started thinking--do I want to be in the world but not of the world? That’s something I ponder regularly--especially when I find myself caught up in selfish ambition and prideful boasting. But, the second part--do I allow the experiences of the world change who I was created to be? Do I allow the world to change my identity in Christ? In my struggles do I rejoice? In my repentance do I give thanks? In my lowest of my lows do I say that it is well with my soul? (Though sometimes it’s even harder to give thanks on the mountain top--because we don’t see the need. Sometimes it’s harder to rejoice in the blessings or be content with the gifts we’ve been given--because it’s in our need that we see our inadequacies. But that’s another blog, I think!)
Do I allow my circumstances determine my worth and therefore devalue the purpose for which I was created?
Out of the mouth of babes... Now, I know Kent was not necessarily referring to his Christian life when he said that he wanted to be a better dancer but not change who he was as a person... But what a beautiful parallel we can draw.
We cannot change our circumstances only our reactions to them. I don’t know where I heard that, but whoever said it was pretty smart. We cannot change what life throws at us, but we can say that no matter what falls in our paths we will choose to honor the holy purpose given to us by God. We can learn a lot from our world. However, we don’t have to let the world change our identity in Christ.
My prayer for today (and the next, and the next...and the next...) is that I will live in this world and learn as much as I can while remaining true to my calling. To remember that my purpose doesn’t change because my circumstances change. To remember to give thanks for the bad... and the good. And to pray that the world doesn’t change me, but rather God’s hands mold me, prune me, sculpt me.
This season, there is this cute little kid from Wapakoneta, Ohio named Kent Boyd. I knew from the get-go that I LOVED Kent. How could you not? He is infectiously happy. He radiates joy and happiness from every pore. He is just so darn cute that he makes me want to dance. Any of you who have seen me dance know that is a scary thing.
So, I love Kent. I loved him even more when he said that the person he looked up to most was his brother, who was going to be a youth minister. Then, I loved him best when I read a quote he made. When asked what he hoped to gain from the experience of performing weekly on So You Think You Can Dance, he responded, “To change as a dancer but not as a person.” Wow. I had to remind myself that he is just 18 years old. Such wise sentiments from such a young kid.
His goal is to live in the world but not be of the world, or not allow the experiences of the world to change who he was created to be(fearfully and wonderfully created, according to Psalm 139:14). Or at least that is my spin on what he said. Though he has never come out and said it, I believe that Kent loves Jesus. It kind of makes sense--he’s one of the most joyful people I have ever seen and supremely gifted. Both of those don’t come from the world or from yourself. Those are gifts only God can bestow. Now, he can be a great dancer and not love Jesus--lots of those are out there, but I just have a hunch. I think this boy loves Jesus...
As I read his quote, I started thinking--do I want to be in the world but not of the world? That’s something I ponder regularly--especially when I find myself caught up in selfish ambition and prideful boasting. But, the second part--do I allow the experiences of the world change who I was created to be? Do I allow the world to change my identity in Christ? In my struggles do I rejoice? In my repentance do I give thanks? In my lowest of my lows do I say that it is well with my soul? (Though sometimes it’s even harder to give thanks on the mountain top--because we don’t see the need. Sometimes it’s harder to rejoice in the blessings or be content with the gifts we’ve been given--because it’s in our need that we see our inadequacies. But that’s another blog, I think!)
Do I allow my circumstances determine my worth and therefore devalue the purpose for which I was created?
Out of the mouth of babes... Now, I know Kent was not necessarily referring to his Christian life when he said that he wanted to be a better dancer but not change who he was as a person... But what a beautiful parallel we can draw.
We cannot change our circumstances only our reactions to them. I don’t know where I heard that, but whoever said it was pretty smart. We cannot change what life throws at us, but we can say that no matter what falls in our paths we will choose to honor the holy purpose given to us by God. We can learn a lot from our world. However, we don’t have to let the world change our identity in Christ.
My prayer for today (and the next, and the next...and the next...) is that I will live in this world and learn as much as I can while remaining true to my calling. To remember that my purpose doesn’t change because my circumstances change. To remember to give thanks for the bad... and the good. And to pray that the world doesn’t change me, but rather God’s hands mold me, prune me, sculpt me.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Prodigal Journey
This isn't my most recent writing--but this is one I posted on a different site and feel the need to post it here... It ties so closely to the post I just wrote...
We all know the story of the prodigal son—it is such a beautiful picture of God and of his unyielding love for us. He never stops waiting at the door for us to return. He always welcomes us home. He runs to greet us with open arms.
I cry just about every time I read that story. I love the simple beauty of it all. But as I was reflecting on this story today, I had a thought… What about the journey the prodigal son took to get home to his father? In the parable, recorded in Luke, Jesus doesn't tell us what happened between the pigsty epiphany and the reunion of father and son. It just says that the son got up and went.
So what was this prodigal journey like?
I have quite the imagination, so as I ponder this question, I have a mental image of the son, setting out on this journey, dressed in rags, weak from hunger, and in general, in bad shape. Knowing what I know about Jesus' day, I am fairly certain that there were no sidewalks for him to walk along, and he had to maneuver through roads that today would be called wild terrain. I imagine a "road" that was narrow, filled with rocks and animal manure, and probably with trees with thorns. Again—that could just be my imagination.
As he walked along this "road," (again, I hesitate to call it a road in our sense of the word) I think of him stumbling from weakness, and probably falling flat on his face on more than one occasion. His hair was probably matted with dirt (and who knows what else!) but he didn't care. No matter how many times he fell and no matter how terrible he looked, he kept putting one foot in front of the other out of hope, but probably surrounded by a little fear, too. I am sure he prayed every step of the way that his father's heart would be softened towards his wayward son and that his father would show him an ounce of undeserved mercy. I imagine that in his mind, he was asking for more than he ever thought he would get--he was praying for more than he ever hoped to get.
And when he finally got close to home, it happened. His father saw him, and ran to greet him. Again, my imagination runs away from me sometimes, but I imagine the son sagging into his father's arms. I see him collapsing, and relying on his father to hold him up. The journey was hard, and now that he is home, he is going to let his father take care of him—clothe him, nourish him, and give him rest. I also see tears--of joy, relief, love, and of sorrow. Yes--sorrow. The father mourned the entire time his son was gone and now that he was returned to the fold, he cried tears for the pain, suffering and sadness his son had experienced. And held him even closer.
The son in this story had strayed so far—so far, in fact, that I am sure he never thought he would see his father again. And there he sat in the mire and muck that is a pigsty. (Not that I would know, because let's face it, those of you who know me know that I would never end up in/near/around a pigsty.) And it hit him—the son thought, "I don't HAVE to be here. I have a perfectly good home with a father who loves me. What am I doing here?" So without a second thought, he got up and set out for home, hopeful to be the lowest of servants in his father's household. It reminds me of that praise song--better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.
And here is where it gets hard. The journey for the son could not have been easy. The story doesn't say he saved up some money from his job, or that he went home and got provisions. It says he got up and went. No looking back. Determined.
And as I said earlier, I don't imagine the road home was an easy road. Each rock that caused him to stumble was a consequence for his choices. Each time he fell from weakness–that was a consequence. Each thorn that cut his flesh, each rock that cut his foot, and each ghost that whispered failure in his ear were consequences to be endured. The scars of his journey were evident.
As I jave walked my own prodigal journey, I am reminded of the consequences of my actions. Not just my sin, but my actions, too. Everything I do—each of my actions, has an equal and opposite reaction. (Shout out to Mr. Pace—my high school physical science teacher…) The journey that I face as I walk back to my Father is wrought with consequences—the consequences of my choices. Some of them are good—but some of them aren't. And like the prodigal son's journey, my journey will end with open arms pulling me closer.
I read a quote today that struck me. It was by, of all people, Leonardo DiCaprio. He said, "We're all after love, aren't we? Love is what people are hungry for." Love is what people are hungry for… I totally agree with that statement. But the love people are hungry for isn't on this earth—it is in the open arms of the Father—waiting for us to return from our individual prodigal journeys.
We all know the story of the prodigal son—it is such a beautiful picture of God and of his unyielding love for us. He never stops waiting at the door for us to return. He always welcomes us home. He runs to greet us with open arms.
I cry just about every time I read that story. I love the simple beauty of it all. But as I was reflecting on this story today, I had a thought… What about the journey the prodigal son took to get home to his father? In the parable, recorded in Luke, Jesus doesn't tell us what happened between the pigsty epiphany and the reunion of father and son. It just says that the son got up and went.
So what was this prodigal journey like?
I have quite the imagination, so as I ponder this question, I have a mental image of the son, setting out on this journey, dressed in rags, weak from hunger, and in general, in bad shape. Knowing what I know about Jesus' day, I am fairly certain that there were no sidewalks for him to walk along, and he had to maneuver through roads that today would be called wild terrain. I imagine a "road" that was narrow, filled with rocks and animal manure, and probably with trees with thorns. Again—that could just be my imagination.
As he walked along this "road," (again, I hesitate to call it a road in our sense of the word) I think of him stumbling from weakness, and probably falling flat on his face on more than one occasion. His hair was probably matted with dirt (and who knows what else!) but he didn't care. No matter how many times he fell and no matter how terrible he looked, he kept putting one foot in front of the other out of hope, but probably surrounded by a little fear, too. I am sure he prayed every step of the way that his father's heart would be softened towards his wayward son and that his father would show him an ounce of undeserved mercy. I imagine that in his mind, he was asking for more than he ever thought he would get--he was praying for more than he ever hoped to get.
And when he finally got close to home, it happened. His father saw him, and ran to greet him. Again, my imagination runs away from me sometimes, but I imagine the son sagging into his father's arms. I see him collapsing, and relying on his father to hold him up. The journey was hard, and now that he is home, he is going to let his father take care of him—clothe him, nourish him, and give him rest. I also see tears--of joy, relief, love, and of sorrow. Yes--sorrow. The father mourned the entire time his son was gone and now that he was returned to the fold, he cried tears for the pain, suffering and sadness his son had experienced. And held him even closer.
The son in this story had strayed so far—so far, in fact, that I am sure he never thought he would see his father again. And there he sat in the mire and muck that is a pigsty. (Not that I would know, because let's face it, those of you who know me know that I would never end up in/near/around a pigsty.) And it hit him—the son thought, "I don't HAVE to be here. I have a perfectly good home with a father who loves me. What am I doing here?" So without a second thought, he got up and set out for home, hopeful to be the lowest of servants in his father's household. It reminds me of that praise song--better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.
And here is where it gets hard. The journey for the son could not have been easy. The story doesn't say he saved up some money from his job, or that he went home and got provisions. It says he got up and went. No looking back. Determined.
And as I said earlier, I don't imagine the road home was an easy road. Each rock that caused him to stumble was a consequence for his choices. Each time he fell from weakness–that was a consequence. Each thorn that cut his flesh, each rock that cut his foot, and each ghost that whispered failure in his ear were consequences to be endured. The scars of his journey were evident.
As I jave walked my own prodigal journey, I am reminded of the consequences of my actions. Not just my sin, but my actions, too. Everything I do—each of my actions, has an equal and opposite reaction. (Shout out to Mr. Pace—my high school physical science teacher…) The journey that I face as I walk back to my Father is wrought with consequences—the consequences of my choices. Some of them are good—but some of them aren't. And like the prodigal son's journey, my journey will end with open arms pulling me closer.
I read a quote today that struck me. It was by, of all people, Leonardo DiCaprio. He said, "We're all after love, aren't we? Love is what people are hungry for." Love is what people are hungry for… I totally agree with that statement. But the love people are hungry for isn't on this earth—it is in the open arms of the Father—waiting for us to return from our individual prodigal journeys.
Big Foot Sightings
This blog is about the affects of prayer and how powerful prayer is. Satan HATES prayer. He hates open communication. He hates truth. He lives in darkness, deceit and lies. And prayer is the opposite of those things. And when we seek God through prayer... well... read on and see my thoughts on that!
OK, so we have ALL seen the clips on TV--the redneck on the local news who has spotted Big Foot in his back yard. Usually, he’s missing a tooth or two and clearly grammar was not something he learned during is “formal learnin’.” Without embarrassment or shame, he tells the story of the creature that invaded his property that couldn’t have been anything but a Big Foot. And he believes what he’s seen. We do that as Christians--we come up with an idea about God that we think is true--we are either bound to this idea culturally or denominationally, but in reality, we have missed the bulls-eye.
I wish I had come up with the idea of spiritual big foots on my own, but I must give credit where credit is due. In church last Sunday, my pastor, Les, spoke about Christian Urban Legends, or Christian Big Foot sightings. He said that there are these ideas out there about God that sound true, and can even be somewhat confirmed through various scriptures, but when you get below the surface of that scripture, you find that what you thought you knew, was actually a spiritual big foot. This last week, he debunked the myth that God wants us to be happy. Nope--God doesn’t want us to be happy. He wants us to be Holy. Two different games altogether.
So I have been thinking all week about spiritual big foots in my life and I think I have come up with one. I have always thought that sin consequences eventually fade, for the most part. But I don’t think that’s always true. There are some sins that do chase us from the moment of inception to our graves, but Satan also uses them as a foot hold--a chink in our armor, so to speak. He sees where we have stumbled before, and puts that in his file-o-fax for later reference. But here is where I struggle--does Satan using that sin later in your life constitute a consequence? Your ideas are welcome on that question...
About a year ago, I made a poor choice in a dating relationship--this guy was great, but he didn’t really know God. He knew the right words to say, but the meaning was very different to him than it was to my beliefs about God. So, I ended it, eventually! Actually, I ended it sooner rather than later, but that’s not the point of this blog. We dated for a few weeks and then I came to my senses! So, over the course of the past year, I have dealt in varying forms the consequences of dating the wrong person and a broken heart.
Well, recently he showed back up in my life. I remember telling Benita, “It’s my fault--I knew that when I opened that door a year ago, I was in for trouble, and I am paying the price still today...” Maybe. But perhaps Satan had found me in a vulnerable time and said “insert boy here!” And I was in a terrible place--and still am in some respects, but not as terrible as I think!--and my faith was teetering on the edge. Now, I am not saying I was about to turn and walk away from God, but I was about to make a huge mistake (which I was saved from) and the stress of the situation was causing a delay in communication with God. I thought I knew what He wanted and was pursuing it, only to find I wasn’t listening as closely as I ought.
So Satan comes along--because he always does--and thinks to himself, “What can I do to get just a little wedge between Jenny and her Savior, Rock, and Refuge? Oh--I know...” and enter the text message from hell. Literally. It was innocent, just a hey, how are you doing type thing. It escalated some from there--we chatted for a few days fairly regularly. Nothing romantic, just a friendly conversation. Then, I melted down. And my ears (literally and figuratively!) opened to God’s will and I was free from that particular burden.
I didn’t make the connection between the text message from hell and my internal emotional turmoil, but it was there. Rather than focusing on discerning God’s will for my life, I was focusing on my phone. Rather than seeking God’s attention and direction I was seeking attention from the boy. And faster than you can say suffering succotash, Satan had distracted me from my purposeful and earnest prayer. In this case, my former sin wasn’t necessarily sending me another consequence as much as Satan was all over me, full force, using my old sin as the platform from which to jump.
Now, I am not saying that my old sin wasn’t the cause of this, but I am not entirely sure it was. Boy didn't text because of my old sin, Satan used that old sin to try to wedge in between me and God. I have gotten things right with God and made the decision He has for my life and suddenly, the text messages have stopped. It was the sudden cease and desist of text messages that got me to wondering about this whole consequences of sin vs. the trickery of the deceitful one. Do I think that I would have heard from this person had I not been in the turmoil I was in? I honestly don’t think so. I think Satan pulled out his Cooper file and said to himself, “What is the quickest way to distract her?” and pulled out the boy card. And it worked--for a while.
But, the great thing about God is that he doesn’t give up--ever. He didn’t give up when Satan had my undivided attention. He won’t give up when Satan pulls another file out of my milk crate of file folders. James 1:17 says that God is CONSTANT. He is unchanging... It says, “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” Lights. No variation. No shifting shadow. How could Satan work if he didn’t change minute by minute and hide in the dark shadows?
God sent Jesus to die on the cross to save me. To save you. Philippians 2:8 says, “ Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” God’s love extended to the cross--even to death on the cross! And His grace extends even farther... Thankfully!
OK, so we have ALL seen the clips on TV--the redneck on the local news who has spotted Big Foot in his back yard. Usually, he’s missing a tooth or two and clearly grammar was not something he learned during is “formal learnin’.” Without embarrassment or shame, he tells the story of the creature that invaded his property that couldn’t have been anything but a Big Foot. And he believes what he’s seen. We do that as Christians--we come up with an idea about God that we think is true--we are either bound to this idea culturally or denominationally, but in reality, we have missed the bulls-eye.
I wish I had come up with the idea of spiritual big foots on my own, but I must give credit where credit is due. In church last Sunday, my pastor, Les, spoke about Christian Urban Legends, or Christian Big Foot sightings. He said that there are these ideas out there about God that sound true, and can even be somewhat confirmed through various scriptures, but when you get below the surface of that scripture, you find that what you thought you knew, was actually a spiritual big foot. This last week, he debunked the myth that God wants us to be happy. Nope--God doesn’t want us to be happy. He wants us to be Holy. Two different games altogether.
So I have been thinking all week about spiritual big foots in my life and I think I have come up with one. I have always thought that sin consequences eventually fade, for the most part. But I don’t think that’s always true. There are some sins that do chase us from the moment of inception to our graves, but Satan also uses them as a foot hold--a chink in our armor, so to speak. He sees where we have stumbled before, and puts that in his file-o-fax for later reference. But here is where I struggle--does Satan using that sin later in your life constitute a consequence? Your ideas are welcome on that question...
About a year ago, I made a poor choice in a dating relationship--this guy was great, but he didn’t really know God. He knew the right words to say, but the meaning was very different to him than it was to my beliefs about God. So, I ended it, eventually! Actually, I ended it sooner rather than later, but that’s not the point of this blog. We dated for a few weeks and then I came to my senses! So, over the course of the past year, I have dealt in varying forms the consequences of dating the wrong person and a broken heart.
Well, recently he showed back up in my life. I remember telling Benita, “It’s my fault--I knew that when I opened that door a year ago, I was in for trouble, and I am paying the price still today...” Maybe. But perhaps Satan had found me in a vulnerable time and said “insert boy here!” And I was in a terrible place--and still am in some respects, but not as terrible as I think!--and my faith was teetering on the edge. Now, I am not saying I was about to turn and walk away from God, but I was about to make a huge mistake (which I was saved from) and the stress of the situation was causing a delay in communication with God. I thought I knew what He wanted and was pursuing it, only to find I wasn’t listening as closely as I ought.
So Satan comes along--because he always does--and thinks to himself, “What can I do to get just a little wedge between Jenny and her Savior, Rock, and Refuge? Oh--I know...” and enter the text message from hell. Literally. It was innocent, just a hey, how are you doing type thing. It escalated some from there--we chatted for a few days fairly regularly. Nothing romantic, just a friendly conversation. Then, I melted down. And my ears (literally and figuratively!) opened to God’s will and I was free from that particular burden.
I didn’t make the connection between the text message from hell and my internal emotional turmoil, but it was there. Rather than focusing on discerning God’s will for my life, I was focusing on my phone. Rather than seeking God’s attention and direction I was seeking attention from the boy. And faster than you can say suffering succotash, Satan had distracted me from my purposeful and earnest prayer. In this case, my former sin wasn’t necessarily sending me another consequence as much as Satan was all over me, full force, using my old sin as the platform from which to jump.
Now, I am not saying that my old sin wasn’t the cause of this, but I am not entirely sure it was. Boy didn't text because of my old sin, Satan used that old sin to try to wedge in between me and God. I have gotten things right with God and made the decision He has for my life and suddenly, the text messages have stopped. It was the sudden cease and desist of text messages that got me to wondering about this whole consequences of sin vs. the trickery of the deceitful one. Do I think that I would have heard from this person had I not been in the turmoil I was in? I honestly don’t think so. I think Satan pulled out his Cooper file and said to himself, “What is the quickest way to distract her?” and pulled out the boy card. And it worked--for a while.
But, the great thing about God is that he doesn’t give up--ever. He didn’t give up when Satan had my undivided attention. He won’t give up when Satan pulls another file out of my milk crate of file folders. James 1:17 says that God is CONSTANT. He is unchanging... It says, “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” Lights. No variation. No shifting shadow. How could Satan work if he didn’t change minute by minute and hide in the dark shadows?
God sent Jesus to die on the cross to save me. To save you. Philippians 2:8 says, “ Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” God’s love extended to the cross--even to death on the cross! And His grace extends even farther... Thankfully!
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